Sunday, December 2, 2007

Is this the same?

A few nights ago all of the foreigners, save one, ate at Mecca Home, Enshi's token Western restaurant. As I have said earlier, there are eight of us: five Americans, one Peruvian, one English and one Japanese. We were all sitting around in our own private dinning room, speaking in English, when Kazusan began talking about the differences between Enshi and the rest of China. Apparently, as Kazusan explained and John and Lila agreed, Enshi isn't China, it's something totally different. They began to list the differences: it's noisier here, the people are friendlier, it's dirtier, etc. They said if you compare Enshi to all the other places in this nation (and these are people who have traveled China extensively) this city, and I believe these were Kazusan's words exactly, "Is a different country."

With that being said, I believe everyone, except the foreigners living in Enshi, will forever be ignorant as to the experience living in this city, and that includes my other friends who live in the bigger cities of China. Now I don't mean the politically correct, subjective mumbo-jumbo of "Every city is different and is beautiful in its unique differences,” which I abhor. No, I mean ya'll have no IDEA what it's like to live here. Granted, I was in Yichang for a total of 24 hours, but I saw more differences in those 24 hours than I cared to articulate to my friends, lest I sound like the guy who has a superiority complex about a situation that's identical to the situation of the people to whom he is speaking (you know, nobody likes that guy). I've been trying to convince myself since Sunday that the experiences in this city are similar to the experiences in the bigger towns, because I know that's the correct way to think. However, I can't shake the belief that mindset is wrong. I saw Yichang as a world away from Enshi, and if nothing else, my going to Yichang has made me wonder that if I had lived in a bigger city China might have beeen tolerable and, if the stars were right, possibly, could you believe it?, maybe even *gasp* enjoyable.

We walked around the Yichang for three hours last Saturday night. I can recall one taunting "Hello!" from a near drunk Chinese official who was trying to impress his friends. I just returned from getting some dumplings and a cup of tea at the local Coffee shop. I answered or ignored six people yelling "Hello" and one person asking, "What is your name,” in that short time frame. And these are just the hellos! This isn't considering, if I had to guess, the fifty or sixty glances, stares, and ogles (is that a word) I also received that did not exist in Yichang. I've typed about them before, but if anyone feels like there isn't much difference between Enshi and the rest of this country, I challenge you (yes I am throwing down the gauntlet) to hop a van, endure uncountable hours on winding mountain roads, and spend one weekend in the next month in this town. But you know what? Nobody will do it, and I would feel kind of bad if someone actually did arrive; because I would hate for someone to spend a good deal of money so Jonathan could have self-gratification. You just have to take my word for it.

As evidence, I told one of my classes that some American friends might one-day show up in Enshi to visit, and the entire class lit up like a Christmas tree (most of my students ooed at the prospect of seeing other foreigners). The class then inquired as to their age, gender, marital status, astrological sign, etc. I realized then that if my friends came to this town I would spend the entire weekend doing one of two things: constantly exhibiting them like a group of state-champion Jersey cows or hiding them in my apartment from the Beatlemania roaring outside in the city. I can just see it now "No you don't want to leave my apartment. There is really not much out there to see, I'll go get some food. No it's on me. I'll be a few minutes, just don't go too close to the windows." That doesn't sound too fun now does it?

It's a shame my Yichang experience didn't happen earlier in the year, because I might be spending my second semester in a different city instead of coming home five months early. Of course, at the point that I decided to jump ship I was deep in the belief that my Enshi experience is universal to the China experience and nothing, including a change of scenery, could make my time here enjoyable. Now that I know things are different, I'm way too close to coming home to change my mind (38 days!). But it still makes me a little melancholy to think that, with a few things changed, I could have been placed in a different city and the last five months of my life could have been a hoot-and-a-half instead of mind-numbing, soul-searching weariness. Really it does.

(With that being said, I need to say that no one is to blame for my being in a small, isolated town. This city hired us at the last second after plan A capsized in mid-June. I have also been told that our leader only placed us here because some leaders assured him the superhighway through the city would be completed in August; they lied. The highway looks almost done in the city, but after driving through the countryside I can assure you that if the superhighway is finished by the time I have my first child, I will name him or her Enshi. They have that much work to do.)

Of course, "there's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow." As a good friend said this morning, I'm in Enshi for a reason. I really don't know what that reason is, and I may never know, but I won't fret over small details when this whole China thing is slowly coming to an end. There is no telling how this experience has changed me, but I will rest assured that forty years from now I might log back into blogger for one last blog post in which I proclaim "I GOT IT! I KNOW THE ENTIRE REASON I WENT TO CHINA!" No one will be there to read it, but at least I'll finally have peace of mind.

"I'll see you in the morning if nothing happens."

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Is it too late to go to a larger city for the second semester??? Don't tell Mom I asked that question!

Deb said...

"constantly exhibiting them like a group of state-champion Holstein cows" DID your dad not teach you anything boy? It is like a group of state-champion JERSEY cows!

Renae said...

I doubt if it takes you 40 years to figure out why you were there. Five years maybe, but not forty.

jason said...

I'm with Aunt Deb, Jersey just sounds better. Granted, there may be reasons she suggested the switch other than the feel of the sentence (you know, like a family farm with 65 jersey cows or w/e), but it makes for a better flow.

Correct me if I'm wrong, you thought that the Hodgenville of China was the same as China's Nashville?! That's funny.