Is it sad that I already have a countdown? Somewhere around 295 days (assuming that I stay the whole length of my contract). I guess it's obvious that I'm not loving what I'm doing right now. At least the dislike comes and goes in waves. I do reserve the right to love it later on, but I don't see that happening. Everyone has been very encouraging though, and I appreciate that. The thing that kills me is that everyone who comes over here loves this place, and I have this everpresent fear that I am the one percent that don't. I was afraid of that before I left, and I hate to see my fears come to fruition. This could still go down as the worst decision of my life; an idea I thought would go away once I got here, but it has only gotten worse.
(ok people, I still remember the real reason I came here. I haven't forgotten. And I don't really need reminding. In case you couldn't tell, I'm not %100 right now. I feel about %15. Is it possible that I just don't have the personality for this kind of thing? )
Yesterday Haley and I went shopping at a brand new grocery store about a mile away. Three kids stuck by our side for about a half hour. I don't really understand why they did; because the entire time they were acting like we didn't know, or we couldn't tell, they were there. They didn't try to talk to us. They followed us like they were our kids. When we went to the cash register they left. Of course there were the standard gawkers, but the kids took the cake. I need to get busy doing something. It'll get better, and I hope to tell you when it does.
"I'll see you in the morning if nothing happens."
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